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iyaoyas
Starting Member
6 Posts |
 Posted - 03/12/2012 : 12:21:54
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| She removed the pistol and said she didn't want it in there.Any suggestions on how to change her mind? She's afraid of it.I'm afraid we'll need it some night and not have it near.It was in the bedroom for one day (new pistol) till she saw it. |
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Nathan
Big Sky Guy
USA
21544 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 13:13:16
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until you can reclaim your testicles you probably shouldnt be messing with guns anyway.
...now before you go getting all butt-hurt, think about it for a minute. go get your testicles back. seriously. |
Nathan In Montana, carrying a Gen4 Glock 19 loaded with Federal 147 grain +P JHPs carried in a Galco King Tuk thats worn on a Wilderness Instructor's belt.
NRA Certified Instructor, Rifle, Shotgun and Pistol
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sinstar
Junior Member
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 13:23:33
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| yea and then theres that,lol...but i would ask,what is she afraid of.shes not afraid of the pistol cause she picked it up and removed it |
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firefighter203
Average Member
USA
528 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 13:31:31
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| Tell her irrational fear of a gun takes a back seat to your very real fear of what goes bump in the night. So the pistol comes back so you can defend your family like a man is supposed to. |
I'd rather be tried by twelve, than carried by six.
Ky. CCDW Instructor |
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yankeejib
Advanced Member
USA
3031 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 13:46:20
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| Suit pockets in the closet make good storage spots. |
Sincerely,
Professor Stu Padasol
"Doing what others find difficult is talent. Doing what others find impossible is genius."
"Why be difficult when with a little more effort, you can be entirely impossible."
I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1250 feet per second.
God did not create all men equal, Sam Colt did.
"The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is."
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mattinglyt
Watchdog
USA
11935 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 13:49:06
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| Have her check out www.corneredcat.com it is a site geared towards women and may help to alleviate some of her fears. And then go get those testes back, LOL |
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chokol8cuvrdantz
Senior Member
USA
1340 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 16:07:37
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Are there kids in the home? Frequent visitors? After TONS of classes I've had to take through my divorce, this is what I've come up with and implemented in my house because my girlfriend feels the same way your wife does... (here we go...)
Her choice is her choice. Your choice is your choice. As far as I'm concerned, I am not going to change my girlfriend's mind about having a firearm in the bedroom. She doesn't want it. That's her right as a human being to feel that way and changing her mind about it is a losing battle. However, being the man of the house and therefore taking on the responsibility of protecting those that live in said household, it is your choice whether or not to have a firearm in the bedroom. The only way to resolve a situation such as this is to accept that she wants what she wants and you want what you want and to find a happy medium between the two. I took my girlfriend out to the range and we put a hurting on the pocketbook. She eased up a little, but still doesn't want a loaded firearm in the bedroom. I simply explained to her that it is my responsibility to protect her and my kids and it was staying in the bedroom. We compromised and both decided that I would keep it in the bedroom, but not on top of the night stand. Now it sets in the drawer in my nightstand and we are okay with that. She's somewhat comfortable that it's out of sight and I'm comfortable that it's next to me at night.
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When life kicks you in the ass, turn around and kick it back. Then take it by the scruff of the neck and teach it not to kick you again. |
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NoNonsense
Starting Member
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 18:18:46
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I agree that she's not afraid of it or she wouldn't have touched it to remove it from the bedroom. I don't understand how couples can be so far apart on such serious issues. I would never have gotten into a relationship with a man, let alone married a man who didn't enjoy firearms. It's that much a part of who I am. I've been shooting for as long as I can remember. I've always had guns in my bedroom.
The weapon is of no use to you if it's not within your reach. If you don't simply take Nathan's advice, and you must compromise on this issue, I guess a nightstand safe is an option. That way she doesn't have to see it, but it's still quickly accessible. Good luck.
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Please help me find a cure for Cystic Fibrosis, because I love my son. |
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montanapatriot
Advanced Member
USA
3817 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 19:33:05
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| Simply read my signature line below. |
“A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity”
Sigmund Freud |
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SierraTJ
Junior Member
USA
288 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 20:04:54
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My wife, though she was brought up around hunting type guns, absolutely hated the idea of handguns until I took her to the range a couple times. Now she has a ccw, a p11 and bought a sig p250 yesterday.
I recieved some excellent advice from this forum about women in general, and it actually worked on my woman. Women will generally not do what you try to force them to do, but if it is their idea, then generally you are in. Compromise is always good, but if you figure out how to make it her idea then you are a rich man in many ways. Good luck. |
I'm married, have 5 kids, 3 Jeeps, and 7 guns and still wonder why I'm always broke.
CBST'd G23 w/ 165gr HST
CBST'd K-T P11 w/ 124gr HST
Sig P250 HD Ready to light my way
Best Quotes from my CCW instructor.
"If he was good enough to shoot once, he is good enough to shoot again"
"Make sure he is DRT, Dead Right There"
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Nathan
Big Sky Guy
USA
21544 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 20:29:54
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| im all for working together as a married couple, with a few exceptions....one of them being ensuring the safety of your family. that responsibility falls on you. it simply does not matter how your wife feels about having a handgun in your bedroom. it is your responsibility to ensure the safety of your family whether your wife likes it or not. if she decides to put fluffy pillows all over your bed you have to suck it up because thats her thing. security is yours. reach down in your pants and feel where your balls used to live. reconnect with who you used to be and remember what it felt like to be a man. realize that you are not her eunuch and you are not her bitch...you are her husband. once you reclaim your testicles and establish your position, take her to the range shooting sometime...all that is sound advice...but keeping a gun in the bedroom should be just as absolute as standing when you piss. its not up for debate or discussion consisting of anything other than "i am aware of your fears, i will do my best to help you deal with this gun that im keeping in the bedroom". |
Nathan In Montana, carrying a Gen4 Glock 19 loaded with Federal 147 grain +P JHPs carried in a Galco King Tuk thats worn on a Wilderness Instructor's belt.
NRA Certified Instructor, Rifle, Shotgun and Pistol
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sinstar
Junior Member
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2012 : 04:50:00
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| And you may just get lucky tonight.women are freaks like that |
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medic68
Master of Mojo
5106 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2012 : 11:17:20
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There is one principle which is eternal; it is the duty of all men to protect their lives and the lives of the household, whenever necessity requires, and no power has a right to forbid it, should the last extreme arrive, but I anticipate no such extreme, but caution is the parent of safety. (HC 6:605.)
quote by Joseph Smith on the subject:
Peace be still, bury the hatchet and the sword, the sound of war is dreadful in my ear. [But] any man who will not fight for his wife and children is a coward and a bastard.
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"Coimhead fearg fhear na foighde"
   
'It doesn't matter how big a ranch ya' own, or how many cows ya' brand,the size of your funeral is still gonna depend on the weather.' -- Harry Truman.
Sometimes there's justice, sometimes there's just us--- Anonymous
"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." -- Mark Twain
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iyaoyas
Starting Member
6 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2012 : 11:33:47
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| LOL...Thanks for all the replies.Over and out. |
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Nathan
Big Sky Guy
USA
21544 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2012 : 16:42:24
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quote:
Originally posted by iyaoyas
LOL...Thanks for all the replies.Over and out.
i wondered how you were gonna take all this. you are a good sport and will fit in well around here.
...after you get your balls back.   |
Nathan In Montana, carrying a Gen4 Glock 19 loaded with Federal 147 grain +P JHPs carried in a Galco King Tuk thats worn on a Wilderness Instructor's belt.
NRA Certified Instructor, Rifle, Shotgun and Pistol
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jamze
Starting Member
14 Posts |
Posted - 03/19/2012 : 23:32:13
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Well either you have already taken Nathan's advice.....or you probably still have this problem. My wife has never had a problem with a gun in our bedroom, however my sister is big time anti gun, so I can relate to how tough it is to convince someone like that, that guns actually "save lives" I am not very good at this kind of stuff either, but for what it's worth, I'll toss out a few suggestions.
Maybe you could do this...
You need to make her realize just how dangerous life can be without a weapon.
When you open your newspaper in the morning, go straight to the "Metro" section, or whatever section has the latest crime reports in it. Casually point out all of the home invasions, rapes, murders, and burglary's and read them out loud, so she can hear.
When you guys sit down to watch the nightly news and they start talking about "crimes", turn the TV up and make everyone shhhhhh, while you (and her) listen. Watch some programs like "I survived" or other programs where victims describe their horrible ordeals. America's most wanted is another good one.During all of this make comments like "What could I do if we were ever in that situation?", or "How could I defend our family against people that are armed, if we are not armed?"
I don't see how anyone who really understands the facts could argue against a gun in the bedroom, as long as it were stored safely.
If safety is the issue, maybe you could put a gun lock on your gun, then hand it to her and ask her if she can make it fire. Maybe once she see's that as long as it is locked up, it is totally safe, she would reconsider.
Some women are more understanding when they realize that it's genetic. Maybe you could try to explain to her that the desire and drive to protect your family has been passed down in the genes of men for thousands and thousands of years. It is in our nature to protect our families, and always has been. I betcha that even cave men slept in arm's reach of their clubs and spears. Compare it to that desire that women get to have children when their biological clock is running out,It is in our biological nature to want to protect our families!
Maybe you could find one of her girlfriends that has a gun in their bedroom and bring up the conversation when she is around. Sometimes women value the opinion and advice of their friends over ours.
The bottom line is that you have got to have your gun accessible in the middle of the night bro. That's when all the "bad stuff" usually happens.
In a marriage, you gotta pick your battles, and usually the other party can tell if they are just not going to win this one. You need to make this issue one of those arguments that she is just not going to win. Stand your ground. Do not give in, your life may depend on it. When all else fails, if she still will not allow a gun in the bedroom, I would get a blanket and a pillow and sleep in the room where my gun was. |
Para Warthog
Caliber: .45 ACP
Rounds: 10+1
Weight: 24 oz.
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Oban
Junior Member
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2012 : 19:56:22
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Just to bring a few thoughts to everyone, from a woman's perspective. And before anyone starts on me, let me just say that I have 2 different handguns at arms reach if I'm laying flat out in bed. :) From a woman's perspective, why is she so afraid of having a gun in the bedroom? Has she read news of the very few instances where a child was shot when they came home unexpectedly without telling the parent? Or is she afraid of possibly herself being shot if she gets up in the middle of the night and you react to the noise, half asleep? You and your wife are a team, it's not a "my house, your house" thing. You guys need to have a long sit down talk, no arguments, just talk to each other and LISTEN to each other.
Oh my God, I sound like a marriage counselor!! That was not my intent. My husband and I go shooting together, if not every weekend, every couple of weekends a month. The couple that shoots together, stays together. :) I'm the one that has the CCW, he doesn't have his yet. Yet. :)
Good luck!! Hope you can talk this out.
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Julie
CCL holder
Member NRA
"When the people fear the government, there is tyranny. When the government fears the people, there is liberty" Thomas Jefferson |
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Jesse14733
Junior Member
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - 03/22/2012 : 00:21:39
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I work twelve hour night shifts. My wife used to complain all the time about why is the shotgun hanging where my bathrobe goes in my closet. Then she complained about my pistol on my nightstand. But she was warned not to move my guns. One night I was working at about 3am a booger knocked on the door and was yelling devonte come out here obviously I dont know a vonte she was scared she called me and i told her to grab the shotgun and lock the bedroom door and aim at the door. The dumbass noticed that his buddy dosnt drive mud covered vehicles and went two doors down to tay tays house. After she was scared s***less she quickly learned that it feels good to have a advantage in a ugly senario. Now she is armed to the teeth. My side of bed has my m&p her side of the bed has a sp101 with two speed loaders and when im at work the shotgun is on her side of the bed when im off work i have the ar propped up by my side if the bed ___We live in a decent area but you can never know. It takes her being scared to understand how important being armed is.
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Jesse14733
Junior Member
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - 03/22/2012 : 17:11:50
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This is how my closet on my side of my bed holds my ar
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Stoble
Junior Member
USA
266 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2012 : 20:53:27
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| She may be worried about a premature ignition. {Just kidding} |
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SKIandSKY
Average Member
USA
831 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2012 : 23:35:03
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Or maybe shooting blanks? LOL
An out-of-sight automatic lock box is another option, if not already mentioned. I have thought about those before but I live alone and when I have gun owning buddies over, no worries. When I have dates or non-gun-owning buddies over, I lock up all my pieces.
As soon as I read the original post, my thoughts were exactly what Nathan typed! OMGosh, he and I are more alike that I first thought! YIKES. LOL |
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Eric
Senior Member
1202 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2012 : 08:02:49
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I had the same issue when I first got my PPS and having the gun in the house at all, but basically let her know she was simply going to have to come to grips with my decision to protect my family, and that I had every right to.
My thought was, "How mad can she get for how long at the fact her husband wants to protect her and her son?"
I bought a Gun Vault for 100 bucks, screwed it into the back of a night stand where I can reach over from prone on the bed or standing in front of the dresser and in seconds use my fingers to key the code, the hinge pops up, and I have access to my handgun. Anyone robbing the house most likely wouldn't look behind the night stand, and no one visiting (being shown) the house has ever noticed it.
Might be an idea you could use to appease her when you go ask her for your balls back. :) (Sorry I had to go there in theme with the thread, hehe) |
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Lost Sheep
New Member
USA
91 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2012 : 22:53:14
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Some advice delivered by a photographer to two friends of mine (newlyweds). The photog had been married for over 50 years.
He said, looking hard at the groom, "You! You do everything she tells you.", then, looking even harder at the bride, but speaking softer, "and you; you spoil him so rotten no other woman will want him."
Women are wired to take care of their families. Their children, their homes, their cookware, their husbands. (Maybe in that order, but at least husbands are on the list.)
Your wife will never intentionally give you bad advice, simply because it is bad for you as a couple. She is taking this stand because of some other reason. Find out. Don't ask why she objects to a gun. Ask what it is she is trying to tell you.
It might be a good idea to introduce the idea of home defense by starting with your fire response plan.
Lost Sheep (fully qualified to do marriage counseling because for 60 years I have successfully avoided the institution.)
Lost Sheep |
Lost Sheep (and I didn't get that handle for nothin') |
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Layec
Junior Member
USA
128 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2012 : 11:26:24
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| When I decided to take my duty to defend me and mine seriously and acquire the proper tools for that purpose, I also decided that I would not tolerate a relationship with someone who questioned my right to have the tools and employ them in an effective manner, or tried, in any way, to limit my ability to defend them. Anyone who does this is unworthy of both my protection and my love. |
~Layec
"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."
- Malcolm X
"Woe be unto thee who neglects to prepare lest it be thought unnecessary."
Glock 23
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Nathan
Big Sky Guy
USA
21544 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2012 : 11:33:29
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quote:
Originally posted by Layec
I also decided that I would not tolerate a relationship with someone who questioned my right to have the tools and employ them in an effective manner, or tried, in any way, to limit my ability to defend them. Anyone who does this is unworthy of both my protection and my love.
youre a man....not one of these modern day broke-back metrosexual mother  ers running around these days. |
Nathan In Montana, carrying a Gen4 Glock 19 loaded with Federal 147 grain +P JHPs carried in a Galco King Tuk thats worn on a Wilderness Instructor's belt.
NRA Certified Instructor, Rifle, Shotgun and Pistol
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nmuskier01
Senior Member
USA
1845 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2012 : 13:01:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Nathan
youre a man....not one of these modern day broke-back metrosexual mother ers running around these days.
Not quite sure where you stand on this Nathan. Why don't you share your feelings with the group? |
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Wife doesn't want firearm in bedroom
